I was supposed
to be an innocent brownie; a piece of soft cake. I was meant to make merry,
among people who were in much need of it. Irfan, being the baker boy (in the
absence of the other professional bakers of the group) was much excited to
assemble me from parts to a whole – an innocent joyful brownie! But, somehow I
decided that I did not intend to do what was expected of me, poor Irfan.. I was
supposed to be one whole cake, but he decided to part me into two and alter one-half
of me. The first half of me did work in making people merry, even though it
wasn’t supposed to mean anything to these people. However, the other half (that
was supposed to add joy to these poor people’s lives) did not turn up the way
they expected. So henceforth, we will call the first half ‘the normal’ brownie,
and the second half as ‘the bad ass brownie’. The normal brownie was all joyful
and ‘normal’ and hence it has nothing to share with you all, it’s pretty much
happy with what it achieved. On the other hand, this is me – the bad ass
brownie, who is pushed in to making confessions of a crazy kind..
I am a brownie,
very much the same as you would find if you go to any decent bakery that serves
healthy food, but my creator had decided to alter my ingredients and thereby
making me different from the rest of my clan. This however, wasn’t done for the
first time across the globe, there have been several million people who have
tried me, but poor Irfan and his friends were the first timers. They had googled
me and were indeed happy with people’s reviews. Irfan made sure I was made as
good as it get, and I did turn up good; a bit too extra good.
I was the victim
of an even share between six people, but there were eight parts; Irfan and his
other hyper excited friend wanted extra share, and one eighth of me was saved
for a future guest. They ate me up like they all hadn’t eaten up anything the
whole day and I was their first meal, they were barbarous. I intended to make
things good, so I decided to remain calm for about an hour and a half. All the
six people who had eaten me up called each other and started complaining about
my inability to make them happy, or my inability to even work. I was hurt by
these people’s allegations, and so I decided to show them all what I was
capable of… After an hour or two, when each one of my consumers had gone and
settled at their respective places, I decided to start with a little joyous
work. Ah! Indeed all six of them were happy, they were now convinced that I did
work, and yet, they complained about me being slow in my work. Well, good
things come to those who wait.. they should have known and believed, but they
decided to be thankless to me, and I for one, wasn’t happy!
You know, if
they had done their Googling work properly, they would have known how gradual
my effects were, and what was I capable of, but the researcher in Irfan had
taken a leave that day. Tch. Tch. So, just when they had gotten a minute’s
happiness, I decided to elevate my effects. I was so happy when they were
starting to get scared of me and my capabilities, but I was in no mood to spare
those who had false complained about my effects and abilities. Irfan was shit
scared.. poor guy had to call up each one of the six to get a reassurance that
he was fine, but no, he wasn’t and there was no way he was going to get that
reassurance. He called up everyone and was even surer that my effects were
starting to show. How hard he was trying to pretend to be ‘normal’; poor guy
didn’t know that he was normal, it was all just in his mind. He decided that
it’s been an hour since my effects started kicking in, so he should better go
to bed before it got worse; he checked the time to realize that it had only
been five minutes what looked to him an hour. How sad!
I am a bad ass
brownie, and this is not a coincidence that I got a name so apt to my
behaviour. Just when he laid on his bed to get a good night’s sleep, I decided
to shift the gears and make things worse. It was such a funny thing to witness,
when that poor guy was assured that he was dying and it was the last night of
his life.. How cruel it might sound, I didn’t stop yet! When Irfan started
calling everyone to help him, he was just convinced how soon he would be dead,
and with him, will die at least three other people. His attempts were failing,
and I was winning. A few minutes (hours to him) later, when he concluded that
it was impossible for him to sleep and live, he decided to call up a friend who
had not consumed a portion of me. Maybe, he was looking for someone ‘normal’ to
normalise him, little did he knew that there was no normalcy he was going to
achieve. Right now I was feeling like the monster created by Mr. Frankenstein,
who just decided to take revenge on his creator. Poor Irfan.. what a mistake he
had done by creating me!
I am usually a
very calm, peaceful and joyous creation, but it was a bad day for the six.. err
five of them. The sixth is just too used to me! Like I was not happy with
ruining the night for the five of them, Irfan helped me by ruining a sixth one’s
by showing up at his friend’s door and pleading to save him from my effects.
Wow, that even sounds cathartic. You know if there were no such thing as
Google, Irfan wouldn’t have ruined his own night, and also his friend hadn’t
saved his life. I hate Google for that! I am sure Irfan is thankful to his
friend and his googling abilities; because he started to feel better soon his
friends had tried all the remedies given on the Internet to help reduce my effects.
Irfan was now little doubtful about his death, so he took the courage to go
back to his place and try defeating me by going to a sound sleep. But I had
other plans.. He was sure that he wasn’t dying, but it wasn’t possible for me
to just let him sleep so easily, and poor guy spent all his night staring in
the dark, thinking all kinds of thoughts and just trying hard to prevent him to
sleep which he thought would result in his immediate death. Haha, how idiotic
he was!
People had told
him that my effects lasted for four to six hours, until someone told him that
it might last till 24 hours. Poor guy was in deep trouble, thinking he wouldn’t
ever get normal. I didn’t let him sleep or be normal for the entire night and
the next entire day. Anxiety is just a word, it has no meaning, it is all
psychological and I took full advantage of it. The next day, Irfan enquired
about his fellow victims, who he was sure that at least one of them would be
dead by now, but to his utter surprise everyone had returned back to normal and
were in a better condition than him. You know he should have felt relief
knowing that he is just like them, and sooner or later, he too would get
normal. But he was a serious case of anxiety disorder and nothing in the world
could convince him that closing his eyes for more than a minute wouldn’t mean
his immediate death. How funny it looked when he bothered all his friends and
made them miss their lectures and college attendance just so he could keep his
mind diverted and prevent his death. It did work actually. He was acting normal,
tried forgetting about me and almost got successful, watched all the episodes
of a nonsense TV series just so he could divert his mind and doze off to sleep,
until all the episodes were over and he got tired of watching it. No, I hadn’t left
him anytime soon. It was more than 24 hours later and he was still living in
the fear of his death… Poor guy spent another night thinking he would die,
until finally in the morning he got his much awaited sleep of mere five hours. Damn,
he was all the more sure now that he isn’t dying anytime soon. He decided that
it was in his head and so he succeeded in defeating me, but I already had my
fun and I cared the least now…
You know I was
supposed to be an innocent brownie, but he wanted me to be bad ass, or else he wouldn’t
have experimented with my formula. He lives.. but I still haunt him through THC
levels in his blood test reports, haha!
And that is how I know,
he wouldn’t dare to be another Frankenstein ever again!!
