A few years ago if someone had asked me what is the most difficult thing I've had to do, I'd have probably said something about redoing my undergraduate design thesis after a major data loss, or doing that 8 km trek with a broken back or probably something to do with fasting in hot summer days. But I don't think any of these things even compare to what I'm being asked to do now - i.e. do nothing! Surprisingly, doing nothing should be easy, it should be the easiest thing right? But, here's the catch - doing nothing at a time when you see someone you love the most - suffering and slowly deteriorating in front of your eyes, that's the most difficult thing.
You'd move mountains if that could help her, you'd gladly exchange your life with hers at this moment if that was possible and perhaps you'd willingly give everything there is to give, if that could make things better for her, but you are asked to do the most difficult thing - to wait! I usually take pride in my ability to be patient in times when most of the people would just go nuts, but right now I find it painful, almost physically, to just sit and do nothing. People come and tell you that she'll get better and waiting is all we can do, and you want to believe them and be strong, but it's achingly challenging to even sit and pray for her recovery. These are the times when you gather every ounce of optimism and believe that she has to get better; she must! I want to be selfish and want her to get better for me, because I don't have the courage to think otherwise.
