Revelation!

He was not aware that it had happened, and that it had happened in such a frivolous way, like it didn't mean anything; especially after he had suffered long, too long, hoping that it would happen one day, and would happen good. But now, he was taken aback, for he did not know how he should react. Happiness, was one thing he was sure that would come along with it happening, but now he was not sure of anything. It was perhaps a confused state of aftershocks that he was going through, and he was still hoping; for realization of his dreams!

He was living it, and yet could not take it for reality, he was seriously shocked indeed. And then it struck him, he hadn't had a happy dream for a long time now, why would he be having one right now! It was real, after all.

He was happily having an amicable relationship with his sufferings, and having to spend a day any differently was a long shot. Then, how could he have a multitude of happy moments, or relief, if not happiness. It was perfectly normal to be surprised, or shocked to say the least. He was told by several that he has had capabilities, and he has it in him, but it had always sounded fake to him. He had just stopped believing in himself. He had quit before he could even initiate at trying. And then, he was given a chance now. 

He hadn't risen up from his belief of being incapable, but he had achieved a partial relief, for now he knew he could not be useless anymore, he wouldn't ever be! And so, he can sleep in peace without having to be losing himself in the dark abyss of what his nights had become.

Midnight Happiness!

Another of those sleepless nights, and one more glance at the clock. Time's not moving. Eyes refuse to shut down. Maybe, if I had tried to not think about not overthinking, it would've helped. And now, all I can wait for, is the morning light that would enter through the defunct ventilator of my dark room, and something tells me it wouldn't be any soon. I have already given up on so many things that people told me to try. I am almost midway a book that I started only ninety minutes back. It wasn't the depth of interest that made me not leave the book, it was just the desperation of killing time, or trying to get bored and have some sleep. And yet, I am past midway a biography of a woman that I knew too less about. Measures of desperation, if I had to call them, I would but they are not; if only there was a less complicated way to get answers why I cannot shut my eyes and dream!

I didn't know it existed somewhere on this rented hard drive of my computer, and I wouldn't call it an extension of the measures of my desperation to get some sleep, somehow all I want to do is watch this and have something to smile about. I remember watching it the first time, I had loved it despite the fact that I had abhorred the idea of watching an animated movie. Nonetheless, 'UP' was an exceptional one at that.

Two alphabets, and two hours of a simple, uncomplicated and happy images. Somehow it has always managed to bring a smile to me, even though I was watching it the nth time. There is something about it, the story, or the lack of it; I don't know what, but it brings a comforting happiness to you each time of all those million times you watch it. Usually I would sit and criticize anything given to me, the sense of it, the lack of sense, the non-sense, almost everything. But, it is an exceptional thing. You wouldn't practically be able to make your house float high in the sky using helium balloons, and I'd usually say it's ridiculously insane, but I am amazed by this animated man. Maybe I have always loved the idea, the thought of it. Or, maybe it was only because I have admired fantasies irrespective of the fact about how much of a critic I am. But, it brings happiness to me. And I can watch it again, and again, and again.

Each time of it, I am reminded of this brilliantly amazing girl. She has always been the reflection of Ellie. I have always admired her adventurous streak, vehemently positive attitude and her idea of never giving up. I remember the madness of her first image that my mind has stored somewhere, of all those times when she's done outrageous things and not caring less about anything in the world. She'll always be an image of Ellie of some Carl, no matter how her hijab stops her from doing things she says she can, but won't. She is that mad girl I saw in my studio years back, and she'll always be!

If not sleep, all of it gives me a punch of happiness, no matter how short of a span it would last. To Carl. And, to Ellie! ;)