Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Walking on Thin Ice

Do you also find it strange to be taking those first steps all over again? It is so much effort to be doing this - trying to mend things, but I am hoping it's worth the work. To get to know you all over again, is like revisiting things of the past that I had strangely overlooked. It is indeed a strange feeling, but there is no doubt about me really 'wanting' to do this. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be doing this for anyone else in the world, but for you, it feels like a natural instinct. It surprises even myself how patient and restrained I have become. I am constantly waiting for that notification on my phone, and hoping it's you. I fight the urge to just randomly text you telling you that I truly love you. There, I said it, I don't think I'll find a less cheesy way to put this in words. But, I also know that you are coming out of a bad phase, and I don't want to screw up, again! So, I'll patiently wait for a time when you are more welcoming and open to the idea that second chances can sometimes do wonders. 

I am also scared that this all will go away in a whiff, like I'd suddenly wake up from a wonderful dream. It frightens me that I might do or say something which'll set you off, and I might not be able to get a second chance at all. I am scared, but I am also hopeful. Hopeful that things will get better. I am not known to be optimistic about anything, but this, this is something I am extremely positive about. It may well be because I am too scared to lose you and hope is the only thing that keeps me sane. It is like walking on thin ice - I am not sure which step will be my doom, but I am so hopeful that we get through this and find each other on solid ground. I have no other way to put this, but you'll always be everything I want. Always!