Blackouts

You know what I miss?

I miss those nights when our colony had long power cuts. Those 8-12 hour long power cuts. Having to sleep on the terrace on those old 'chaarpaayi's. Nights when there were no inverters or generators. When the mosquitoes couldn't let you sleep, and you had to use those handheld makeshift fans to keep yourself comfortable. All this sounds so unrelatable now, almost weird. Like it never happened, like it is beyond real. 

 But you know why I miss those nights? It brought us all together. When my father would gather us all, and talk about some random thing. Through those blackouts, and my father's tales about his childhood, our grandparents, the village, the haveli, and whatnot, we got our life lessons. Lessons that remain with us even today!

My father would quiz us all, about stuff related to our forefathers and our village. He would often quiz about terms used in the village that we had never used in our city life, and even though I used to hate my village or anything related to it, I would feel so bad for not knowing. It was so bad to lose that one rupee coin, for not knowing. 

I miss the endless fights with my brother over who gets the better charpaayi. The difficulty of carrying the bedding on the top terrace, using that broken piece of a wooden ladder. I miss having dinner with mom and dad. Not eating unless mom had made that thing she made by dipping my chapati in the curry. She was the best at it. She still is. I miss being scolded by dad for missing my 'Bismillah' before starting to eat. 

In that moment of everything being so dark, with those little candle flames fighting to stay alive, when everything was so quiet, those conversations and laughter and the life of the gathering reflected like we were the happiest family on Earth! 

The blackouts these days - even the longest of them, are not the same anymore. They'll never be, because he'll never be there. So you know what I miss?