Saturday, October 29, 2011

Whatever Happened?

I wanted to be the only person who can see this blog, so that I can write anything I want without having to think twice before doing so. But, I am kind of bound by my own freedom. I do not know what to write, or how to. There has been a pattern to all the posts; an identity of their own. I never thought of the people who were gonna read what I write, so that I don't have to compromise on my freedom in the name of universal accessibility. But yes, I do think carefully about 'what' to write. 'How' is probably not of my concern, but it was the 'what' that wanted me to hide this blog from everyone.

I don't know if this is the reason, but I just overtook somebody along the road. A companion. No, it wasn't a second that clicked on my watch, it was an eternity. I have known this moment since ages, and yet it's all so new. Time surely is a miraculous thing; re-casts everything with itself.

It is sad when a stranger tells you things you'd never want to hear, even from your own friends. But it is sadder when a friend becomes a stranger and hurt you in a way that even a 'true' stranger can not. It's more than painful, its close to rubbing the wounds, if it gives a sense of degree to it. But you cannot ignore the reason why the said friend would turn his back on you. It's probably the thing most easily neglected, but somewhere deep beneath those several layers of complaints and aches, you know you were responsible for it somewhere, even if it was a fraction of a nothing. 

I don't know how I ended up here. I have walked too much ahead of what this was supposed to be. I remember myself being the ridiculously ignorant brat who didn't give a damn to whatever complexities life had worn for him. The term for him today is 'mean', or better... 'selfish'. I am not here to defend myself, but to complain. Complain to God, about making me feel so helpless. I do not want people's sympathy; neither their testimonies to my 'goodness' nor their MoU with me. In plain simple words, I just want God to explain me this simple thing... why did I have to evolve into this excessively complicated creature who has his own ways to define things. I am thankful to Him for making things so complicatedly easy for me to identify with them. But, why couldn't He had just given everyone the same level of simplifying complexities. Does that make me unique? Or, is it weird? I guess, it's the 'odd one out' more than anything else. 
I am tired of trying to get to the roots of this heavily intricate and complex structure of mine. 

I started with writing diary entries once, to get my English right. It took, surprisingly very little time to do so. But, now it's all about getting my 'self' right. And, it surely is taking a forever!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Lights are Out!

One for the unending smile on their face
When they put in all their efforts to twist their fate
A hint of a joy over the slightest hope
A glint of an achievement over the faintest nothing

Let's do it once, let's act above our self
Let's give them joy, let's be someone else!

Flashbacks are something that rarely happen in the real life.
It was the burst of a cracker that brought one for me. It brought back the nights from more than a decade ago. 

It is the eve of the Diwali, and everywhere around is nothing but the brightly lit diyas and colorful lights. It was perhaps a lifetime ago, when this day meant more than a holiday to me, when it was an eagerness to burn the crackers, light the diyas, not thinking even once about the superficial existence of the so-called religious differences. Perhaps there were not any, back then, and there indeed are not any. The sheer joy derived out of the colorful crackers was worth listening to those self-righteous-orthodox-religious-laureates.
But...
Gone are the days...

Lighting up hopes!
Walking down the chilling asphalt road, I look at these dwindling flames in the middle of almost nowhere. It is not my curiosity, but I have to walk towards my destination. The waving flames are now dotted with a bleak laughter, but I do not see a human figure until I am in close proximity to the kids that now I can see clearly. Yes, it is the festival of lights and everywhere is a dense group of people celebrating in the best of their ways; yet, here I am, staring at some of the creatures trying to find happiness in a candle that is now only an inch of melted wax. I wouldn't mind if they come bothering me to give them a penny, but today, they won't. There is an intangible hope in their eyes; a hope to get everything from somebody far above the smoky sky tonight.
Maybe, burning the crackers and jumping with joy was my style of celebration years ago. But today, it is an attempt to give these little kids an excuse to rejoice. It is only a handful of chocolates and crackers to me, but it is a 'Diwali' for them.
And, this is the least I can do. 
Because, it's good to be human sometimes!

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Making 'non'Sense!


I got up this morning and thought of doing something extraordinary. And more than the day has passed, I am still looking for that 'extraordinary' to be done. Stupid thoughts I have sometimes, I must say.

So, since morning I have been carefully observing everything that I have come across (and that is to say, computer, tv and food) so as to find something to be done in the name of doing extraordinary. Nevertheless, the search had to end somewhere.

The greatest thoughts come when you are attending the nature's call (I truly believe that). So, I was about to flush my potty when it came to my mind (I know you are going all yucky already), the potty reminded me of someone. Not the look of it, not the smell of it (I am going to die of the overdose of my own nonsense today), but the sheer idea of it... you know... being a 'waste'. I can not think of anyone else more 'waste'ful at this time, than the person who's been shitting on my life for the past four months (I had almost written the name, but my keyboard blasted itself because its keys couldn't bear the mention of his name). Coming back to the potty reminder; he's almost as good as 'shit' (waste, disgusting, and the smell that could kill, literally) but even there he's a step ahead of the poor potty. The innocent potty is at least washed away and makes you feel lighter (of course, you can't deny that, no matter how grossed out you are with this); but the shit eating loser is stuck to the seat (read, my life) permanently it seems, and no matter how hard I flush, he's not going to go anywhere and will just add on to the stink.

Now, am thinking why I ended up here (I had to do something extraordinary, right?). So, I haven't 'done' anything extraordinary. I have just discovered something to make up for it. And my discovery? Well, that contrary to my old saying 'Shit happens! Flush it', I have reached a point where I can not resist modifying it a bit...
***(I just wanted to keep my keyboard safe) happens, flush youself, because he's not gonna go anywhere! (Sadly)

P.S. I have made my non'sense', so now I can happily resume with making sense.
And damn, the loser has beaten up the potty too! (*puked and died*)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Where Is The Way?

Beginnings are always hard to work with. I would usually  make through, only if I could begin on a perfect start. That, probably is the problem with most of my doings. What am I thinking? More importantly, Why? I fail to understand why I cannot just start with whatever I have in my mind. Why do I always have to think too much; think of a third man's perception, overriding my own. It feels like am doing things for somebody else. And again, I cannot make the why of it. 

When was the last time I did not think of a several other things before doing something? I would run out of time if I tried to track it down. It was most likely, years ago when I had an aimless mind. Funny, how you lose self-control over gaining a direction to your acts.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Dead Ends

I do not know if there would ever be a way to put this down and move on. For me, it is like a permanent scar; to my memories. Who doesn’t make efforts to create the most cherishing memories of all times, but you cannot help when you end up facing times that will construct the worst of the memories. I have made up those ones, pretty often. Time heals everything, there was a common saying I grew up listening; believing it wasn’t a possibility for me. Time, however long it has been, hasn’t healed anything whatsoever, not even the outline of the limitless nightmares. I never wanted to, but I do remember each and every little thing that ended up in creating a bad memory. I am now smiling over the long gone ones, but it isn’t the healing that’s making me do so, it’s just the habitual ordeal that I have accustomed myself with. Nevertheless, I am finding it hard to smile over the fresh ones, and I have a feeling that it is never going to happen. For however long it takes, I shall give up anything to come out of here. I can happily do away with having a nightmare in the middle of my comfortless sleep, but I’d give up all my breathing, only if there was a way to come out of living this nightmare. 

Let there be light!

Sunday, September 04, 2011

I Believe I Can Fly.... Again!

If only there was a way to attain peace, I would have given my everything to enjoy it for even a fraction of a second, at present. But I guess it's too much I am asking for. Or, is it? Wasn't there a time when everything was in place, and I was at peace? Or, was there? I guess it has been too long to count it in.

I fail to recall when was the last time I was not thinking too much. I can't even trace back the path that lead me here, at this position. I guess I wouldn't be able to define this position. It seems like impossible, or if there was a word to define beyond impossibility. Such is the situation, I fail to understand the whys and hows myself, so silence is the reply to them who want to help me restate myself. I wish I could be helped, but it is that word that defines the beyond of impossibility.

There are people who really, actually, desperately want to see that lost smile on my face. Then, there are those who are satisfied with that pretentious smile of mine. When do I not laugh! And, then there are those who want to help me, but are trying hard to be convinced with that same fictitious smile, because they know the possibilities. I have no grievances with either of them. It is what they see, it is what they believe... But I am disappointed with myself; the failure at being normal once, or again.


It is not me failing to explain, or express; it is like a failed explanation. I know not a way to say it. The closest word I can find right now is "restless", if it qualifies to explain my inability to be at peace mentally and beyond. 

I write when I am upset, or when I am too happy. It brings me closer to what am seeking, add more to the happiness. But the same happiness is dotted with an expiry date. Where is the peace?, they ask. Exactly, where is the peace? I search.

The quest has been on, since I don't know how long. If only I didn't believe in the existence  of normality, I'd have given up long back. But, I believe...

It has been forever since you're gone...
 This little hope is why am still holding on!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Spitting Out

I just got up from a 4 hours sleep, which is too less considering I didn't sleep for the past 52 hours. But, I just couldn't lie sleeping with all those repeated dark dreams haunting me. I wanted to get up and run  away, but I am too tired. How else do I take out what's pissing me off for the last whole month (probably ever since it happened first, three years back). 

I couldn't have regretted anything more than I do living that one day inside that office. I knew it was a mistake; standing for myself, speaking out my mind. It couldn't have been a worse time to do so. Nothing in life will I regret more than those few minutes of my life in the dark lord's office. Quite honestly, regretting going to Kolkata after my school doesn't seem to even qualify for the list of my regrets in life anymore; it is this bad. Post the Kolkata episode of my life, I had decided not to regret anything in life, for I thought there wouldn't be anything worse than choosing the wrong place and career. As it turns out, I was wrong. That probably wasn't even a thing to regret, I didn't have the slightest idea back then of how it feels to 'actually' regret something. It is million times painful than I thought it to be.

It is not anger, not frustration or irritation. It is much more beyond that. If there was a word to describe the feeling of 'wanting' to die not because you're suicidal, but because you want to be; I would be that word right now. I have always been clear about 'there's no point complaining, when you can't help it', but I have breached my own ideologies. It seems like all that talk of never regretting, stop complaining, live with it, that's how life is and the other million fucking things is all but bullshit. Pure and simple.

Living with a regret is the worse thing to happen to anyone, and saying this I don't want to indicate that I have already sailed through the biggest regret of my life. It is going to last for six months, and maybe more. 

It is that one person who has fucked my life once before, and is happily doing again right now. It is only fair to call him a 'pig', that everyone does. But sometimes I feel bad for the pigs whose name he is tarnishing. Pigs are more 'human' than him, and I feel there is a desperate need of adding a new word to the common vocabulary, to describe what he is. All the abuses he gets never do the justice to what he in real is, and that's why it's even more frustrating. You can't even say things and get happy. It won't ever be easy. Abusing him won't put you at peace, killing him would be too 'kind' for what he deserves. 
Guess, I will have to satisfy myself saying things to him.
But, I shall soon be doing things. Six months.
To him.
For those millions of poor lives he has contaminated with his presence.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Spelling 'WEIRD'




I reside in my destiny
Cause I know what will be will surely be
Can't change a thing by wishing and praying
As far as I can see yeah
It doesn't make any sense
That's why I call life a silly coincidence 
A silly coincidence!

Life, sure is weird. Things work out differently, never the way you plan them. People tell me it's destiny, what has to happen shall happen anyhow. Then, why do we plan, why do we think? If your destiny is pre-written, what's the point of even thinking of adding new chapters to it.


Want... Need... Plan... 
Everything is superficial. How helpless you become when you desperately want something/someone, all you know is to pray to God, waiting for a miracle to occur. But it never happens. And, you know it was destiny! 

Life, sure is weird... and funny! When I started out, I didn't even know if I was going to stay or drop out from this world of designing, Architecture! It started with a dilemma. I never knew what I wanted out of these 5 years. And then, suddenly I realized I had nothing else in life, but the facades and fenestration within the world surrounding me. Clueless I had begun, but somehow all this became integral to me. I have spent hundreds of hours thinking about how it all turned up like this, and yet I live... clueless. 

It is a funny thing though. I had never wanted myself to be where I am today, but God had other plans. Everything that happened en route this destination, has been a remarkable change for what was. It is never about the destination, it is always the journey. Yeah, it is a funny thing.


Destiny and destination have a connection, I have always believed. Both of them are pre-written. How you reach there, is the journey! 

I was always mocked for my bad decisions, was always told or rather advised to plan things. But has ever a plan worked for me! I am not a failure at planning, my plans failed. However, I have enjoyed those little failures, for I have always preferred spontaneity over planning. Mindless it might sound... crazy it is.


There are a million things that I want to decipher; I have achieved only a minute fraction of it. I plan to. My plans shall fail however, because life sure is a weird thing. 
It will never let you plan, and yet, it will demand of you.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Little Things You Do!

 

There was something about these lyrics. It has stayed with me ever since I heard this the first time. It might be the relation that I established with it. But it is rather more. It is the gesture. Priceless!
To you, with love!

P.S. The video is the property of whoever wants to claim it. I am here, just sharing what one shared on YouTube! Vodafone can pay me for advertising for them, if they like ;)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Clueless

I do not remember when I started, but it wasn't a long ago. Or perhaps. 
Knowing not what to say. Yet trying to say it hard. 
Wasn't it the yesterday? And the day before... and one before that.

Friday, July 08, 2011

Afterglow

Dark and dead. 
Lights out. 
Blink of an eye.
Flashback!

Here I am, lost in the light of the moon  
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses

It is you that am thinking of tonight. I do everyday, but it's never enough! There are too many moments I want to remind myself. Wasn't it the best time! I wonder every night, and it feels new each time.

It's you and the roses

It's like an endless loop. The memories. How much can those seven days possibly hold? And am amused by the reminiscence. It's like holding on tight what has already gone. It's only in the mind, that it has stayed... forever!

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

I can not even trace back the last time I touched you, saw or heard you. I fear every night; fear that I would forget how you sounded, or how it felt to be near you. But I shut my eyes and the fear is gone for, it feels like only yesterday. 
It was only yesterday in fact. How could I let it go after all!

Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?

Tomorrow is no future it seems, I don't even know what is there in today! Living in the past feels perfectly alright. Each blink of an eye gives me a memory to breathe. 
The first sight. Love. 
Blink!
Your voice. Bliss.
Blink!
The next seven days. Heaven. Forever.
I live in those seven days.


In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow
I'm losing control

Past. However sweet it might be. The 'perfect week' three years back, I can live it forever. I want to. Pining to see you again, wanting to spend several such perfect weeks. 
Longing to hold you again.
Lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?
Yet, I can live with it. You are here. You are the memories.


Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go 

I will find my way
I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day
When I see your eyes


Letting go isn't easy, or possible it seems.
Yet, there's no bringing back those golden days. There is not going to be a 'better' than those 604800 moments, but I shall await, hoping for an 'equivalent' at least!


Now I'm living...
In your afterglow!




Friday, June 03, 2011

When It No Longer Exists...

Sometimes I think what is this that never let you be happy, or satisfied! Satisfaction is hard to achieve, and it hurts when you just can't reach it. I have always wondered why is it that I find it hard to write anything these days. Why is it that I just can't end what I start. Why! I have always assumed, it's the hunger of 'satisfaction' in those words. But assumptions go wrong, many times.

I just don't have it in me anymore.
And so it ends... here!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Comeback!

comeback (noun) a return to a former higher rank, popularity, position, prosperity, etc.

It is not a comeback for me, in the literal sense as the above definition from Oxford defines, for, it is not a place of higher rank or position for me that I have returned to; neither I have been away for a considerable time that would qualify for the term here! Then, why "comeback"? One might question.

I may not be "the" writer for many, or for that matter any. But, this is one thing that I have enjoyed ever since I started inking down my mind. This is something where I can be myself, for this is no fiction; I can act real without thinking twice about the world around. There is no scope for a lie, for it would feel like self - stabbing. I do not know what pushes me to write, but there's one thing for sure, that I become lifeless when am unable to pen down something from my thoughts. It puts me in a doubt when I am not able to write another poem, or scribble down my life. I am not a writer, but it feels like being handicapped, for you lose something that completed you. So, will it not cheer me up when I get back from the dead, when I get my words back, when am finally able to "speak" and not just talk. For me, it is but a comeback; for others, it can be nothing, for all I care.  
Attitude is my problem, they tell me all the time!
And yet I let them talk, for all I care.


And so I feel alive! 
Again...


Saturday, January 01, 2011

The Year That Was...

Time flies!

Even though it's just another day to you, yet the fact that the whole year tries to fit within those few moments of flashback, is inevitable! It's amusing to notice how things changed from where they began and how things ended. Not any year is the same through all the months, not any year is all happy, or all sad. It's this variety that amuses you more, the next year!

There's just a new year, 'happy' is just a mood. It's just a day that changed, a number added to what was. It is when Monday becomes Tuesday, or Tuesdays become Wednesdays; making no difference to many! Yet, there's a hidden feeling of bidding goodbyes to the good old times, or good-riddance to the times that were otherwise! For, mere a day it might be, yet it has marked the beginning of something new!


Monday, December 27, 2010

For, There Were Better Times I Have Known...

Everything in life is so dynamic, nothing is a fix! People often tell me that time changes everything. I have seen some of these changes happening around me, within me. But, I have always pretended to be unaffected, by the change, the alterations. Yet, there are some times harder than that, when you find it difficult to overlook things, finding it impossible to adjust with the needed adjustments. How do you live with it? How do you solve such things? Is there even a solution? Are there any answers? You are bound to live on, with or without these answers, for time never halts for anyone, life moves on!

There are moments when you find yourself alone in the crowd; for, everyone around means nothing to you, you mean nothing to anyone! It is not a feeling too joyous; yet, there are things worse than that. When it's not a crowd, when the crowd means a lot to you and yet you mean nothing to them; you've a million friends but are friend to none! It feels awkward, it feels painful, knowing things weren't the same earlier, there were better times. It's hard to adjust with the change, and such is a change you hated! 

A friend might never turn a foe, but a friend turning a stranger is no better!



The Perfect Week!

The silence isn't so bad 
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly


There are moments when minutest of the minute things remind you of something, someone. The classroom you love only because she was there once. 
Guava juice that you sip daily, for it tastes like your past with her. 
The small bed in your living room where you had shared your sleep. 
It's like giving the world a new perspective. Giving new meaning to things, moments and the time.


It was your perfect week. Those seven days were the best you had.
There has been many joyous occasions, merry days, lovely moments but the whole life means nothing in front of those 7 days. Nothing equals them.


You still sometimes close your eyes just to have those moments back. The first glimpse of her; nothing can match it. Desires; getting what you desired once. Present; knowing things won't be the same again, for you have lived the best times and not any day is going to be the same again. Such things aren't forever!
You'll have to do without them. Such is life!

Friday, December 03, 2010

Renewal!

Walking down the memory lane!

I have often wondered 'what if they are the bitter of the bitter-sweet memories?'

It's like I've been here before, I've traveled this road before, it's not deja vu,  but a feeling of having been through the same phase earlier. You already know how it feels to be there,  you had come out of it earlier and yet, there is no way you know now to end it. Every time you reach here, it feels different, it feels new. It feels sweet, sometimes. Pain!


You tell the whole world and still feeling unheard. Feeling lonely, not alone! Experiencing pain, not hurt! This is like not having somebody to comfort you, for those million friends you have are just them, friends, but comforter is a level higher, a level lower maybe, but a different level!

Deep within, you know this is going to pass yet again, but nothing soothes you, for life is not about being satisfied, it's rather about finding a new thing every now and then to complicate it even more! Such is Life!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Shit Happens...

I don't have enough words to frame it down.
I don't even want to.
All I know is...
 
Shit happens... Flush it!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Bonds And Beyond

Life is a complicated process that goes on complicating even more with time. Wouldn't you just want to un-complicate it a little bit?
That's where your friends step in.


I have been very particular about the circle of friends that I've always had, in all the phases of my life that have gone from bitter to better to today, when almost everything around me revolves around the very few ones I have. It's been an adventurous journey since the school times, where I didn't had to pick and choose friends from the foes, for, everyone around was a friend; the only distinction needed to be made was, who the best is! To today, where I am left with a world full of people, new ones being added daily, but I stand smiling only with those chosen few. 

I have often wondered and pitied those who complain about having no friends. Pity! For, not surprisingly, I have seen the phase too, where the only ones wishing on my birthdays were my family, and sometimes, not even them! Life surely hasn't been wonderful all the way, but how could it have been? Change! The debatable subject that has answered many of my question in those times.

Change, even though it might have been, but there still remain things questionable. 
Answers to them don't exist yet!

Certain things still soothes me up, including the very existence of many people who're contributing in adding any little joy whatsoever, to my life. Friends, they are. 

The past 3 years had been amazing, for everything that has happened or changed in these times. There had been times too harsh, times too joyous, and some times just confused. But, what has remained constant, unchanged, are the people standing by me. They have made me laugh, they have laughed with me, laughed at me... and at other times, cried with me, or lent me their shoulder if they felt too strong to shed a tear. 

But, certain people have helped me share much more than the joy or the laughter or those tears. The bond has been stronger than plain friendship, it's been something beyond relationships. It was exactly 5 years back, when I had met this beautiful person. Back then, I had not thought of anything what we've been through together in these last five years. It has been a journey far more amazing than any other. Expressions go beyond words, for, something so simple can't frame down what I hold down in my memory.

Yet, doesn't she deserve to know that she has been one of the most beautiful and cherished part of my existence? Expressing through actions is not my forte, and words I don't have. For, how do I map my memories down through alphabets!

High time it is, for, I haven't paid the debts to whatever she has contributed in making my life worthwhile. I have messed up things beyond repair time and again, and yet, we have stayed together with these cracks in between.

A series of questions.
A nil of answers.

Did something change, or I live in delusion?
Haven't we been this same since forever?
Or, did I muddle up things once more?

Where are the days, when we had smiled together?
Why do I feel so changed?
Or, am I just thinking too deep?

Why can't I recall the best times we had?
Did we even had any?
Or, I overlooked the obvious again?

Was there a better phase earlier?
Has it been like this from the beginning?
Or, am I missing something vital?

Is it the change that occurred?
Is it the change I brought?
Or, is it just me?

A series of question marks
No sight of a full stop

Am I looking for the unanswerable?
Have you given the answers already?
Or, is this the dream I haven't been through?

It hasn't been this; it's a thought in advance.
A reminder to fill up the voids left ignored
Before our lives take a turn towards the other road!

To this day, and forever. May there are many more 5 years to our bond.
Though, words do fall short, but that's all I have.
With words I play, to replace that else wise I can't say!




Tuesday, October 12, 2010

BREAKing Free!

When you feel lifeless, the moment you're dead of all the dull things happening around, don't you just want to end it up once and for all? And then, the phone rings...

Saturdays are usually when I sleep the whole day, but this Saturday wasn't something I'd have waited for to sleep, because I already had been sleeping a lot on the non - Saturdays as well, for, it's the Commonwealth Games break! I don't think I know of any living being who was waiting for the "games" so eagerly, it was the government's announcement of shutting down all the colleges and schools and workplaces during this interval, that had rejoiced the many people. I, being no exception.

How desperately I had waited for this break, not because I had any plans, but, I wanted to make one. This Saturday night was special in terms of my mood, I was unusually happy for some reason unknown to even myself, and then a friend called up. 

They had been making this plan for some time now, and I had no idea whatsoever! This kinda turned me off, but then, who cared, I was getting the much awaited break. The caller had told me our plans of hitting the mountains this vacation, and much more cheerful was the spontaneity of this plan, for, it executed the next day!

I had suddenly started feeling excited, this surely had made up my mood which was otherwise quite dull and dead. I had it all in my mind, of what the break was going to be like, and all I needed was to get home fast and start packing, but somehow the night was getting longer and at 1, I was still not home! 

The adrenaline rush, the excitement and of course the joy of getting what you so much wanted; a break! It all accounted for the 90 kph that my bike's speedometer had touched, which otherwise never crossed beyond 60-70 when I feel normal. But, normal I was not today, for, this break was something I badly needed and somewhere I had given up the hopes of materializing the same. 

When you realize tomorrow is going to be a better day, you are ready to wait forever! I packed up my bag and slept in peace, for, I knew what my dreams were going to be.


The Beginning 
Sunday, Oct 3, 2010 

The four of us had boarded the train just in time. Having been taken our seats, our mood all set, we waited eagerly for the train to buzz up to life and take us where we were headed.

Moonis was all excited about this unplanned trip, because like me, he also had not expected things to be executed in real.

Salman felt proud, for, he knew it was because of him being permitted to go, that this plan was actually being materialized.

Arshad, what on Earth could probably affect him? I thought.  

And, as for me, when do I not laugh? 


The fact that this trip was really unplanned, spontaneous and desired, made it all the more fun. Plans never succeed. I had always believed. So now that we had successfully boarded a train to Chandigarh, one thing I knew for sure, the trip had started.

There was not much of a memory attached to Chandigarh, considering that I had been to this place before and surprisingly had enjoyed being there. But, when the train finally halted at the neat and clean station, it brought a feeling of nostalgia to me, it felt like a good start.

People had always told me wise things about this place, how clean it was and how organized it was, while I had always this image of it being a boring and a dull city. They were no preconceived notions, the bus journey from the railway station to the bus  station had proved me right. How could people live in a place where all the buildings looked exactly the same, and still not get bored? I thought to myself, but, there's no place like home, my brain had answered its own query. Smart brains I have!

The bus station looked very much like the ones we have in Delhi, but way more cleaner. One point scored. The reason of coming to this bus station was that a part of our unplanned trip was planned and that being, traveling to Dharamshala in a bus from Chandigarh, and we had just reached in time as the next bus had to leave in less than half hour. Yet, feeding the hungry tummy is more important, we could take the next bus that was due for more than two hours, for all we cared. So, instead of resting our bums inside the bus, we instead went up to the cafeteria to be fed in some fuel before the 8 hours bus journey ahead of us.

A cafeteria at a bus station, my expectations weren't high for I had seen the cafeterias at the bus stations of Delhi and other places. But, this one was an exception. Clean, organized and yet affordable. Scores the second point.

It was not the first time that the four of us were eating out, but the fact that we were miles away from our homes, and the not so strange fact that my family knew nothing of it, made it all a bit extra special. 

Dharamshala as I had heard only, was a nice hill station and held one of the quite famous cricket stadiums in India. All of this, and more, was just 8 hours away. Surprisingly, we had taken less than half an hour to finish up the amazing food and had made up in time to take the 9 p.m. bus to the hill station.

I was excited and amazed on being out on a road trip with friends for a very rare second time. I couldn't wait to see what Dharamshala was about. And as I suppose, the Haryana Roadways bus driver was more eager than me.

The bus journey which was supposedly 8 hours long, had been wrapped up in just 6 hours, thanks to the amazing driver we had, who didn't let any of us sleep for more than a minute and had brought us all the way from Chandigarh to Dharamshala in mere 6 hours even when the road was bumpy and hilly and quite risky.

The Start
Monday Oct 4, 2010 
3.30 A.M.

The bus driver had brought us before time, which I'd have thanked him for, had it been a better time. But, early morning at 3 isn't a nice time to search for a hotel to stay in, as the time that we spent roaming around on the streets had just proved.

The sleep that was killing my excitement of having being reached, and the uphill slope that made it hard to walk any further, were factors enough that we had settled in for that pathetic room in the basement of a hotel that read "Swagath" 

The room was horrible, the washroom was pathetic; the only thing that helped us sleep in the same room were the heavy eyes that we all shared.

Turning off the lights, and the bad thoughts, we slept away the early morning. 
It's a part of this unique experience. We all knew.



And The Rest Of It
Oct 4 - Oct 7, 2010 

The First View!

The day had begun only when half the day had passed. We all woke up late, tired after the bumpy journey and the lazy walks. 

A part of our trip was randomness. So, knowing that we knew nothing of what was to come, we all set out to check out what was in store for us. Through some sources, we came to know of some Kangra Art Museum, Espresso Bar, and of course the stadium. But, through the same source we had known the hotels would be cheaper! Wrong information.

Knowing no directions, having no plan, holding no aim, we stepped out in a soft sunny day. And thankfully, unlike the places I had been to earlier, this place understood our language! So, getting the directions was not much of a task.

I didn't know what the Kangra Art Museum held inside, and visiting it didn't much help me in knowing, for, it had chosen a Monday to be a weekly off day. Damn! 

What stops an aimless being, when he knows nothing's gonna alter his ways, for, he has no predefined course. The closed museum didn't much affect us, and gave us a point to sit down and get clicked. 
 ___

Cricket is not something I'm really fond of, but the hype that was created around the newly built stadium in Dharamshala had made me agree to visit it when we were here. The road to the stadium was really comforting, because it was downhill (obviously I wasn't thinking of coming back) and plus, it had our favorite Maggi along with our not so favorite frappe on the road. 

People in Himachal Pradesh are quite welcoming and warm, so finding out the directions wasn't tough as we had reached very close to the stadium based on the directions that the people gave us. The road to the stadium was interesting and it became more as we walked more; it was a university campus lined up with a police colony and an amazing police stadium. The stadium was holding down some inter school competition and so we could see colors racing in the field with a backdrop of the soaring mountains. Amazing! 

Now that we had almost reached the cricket stadium, the excitement was building up. The red pyramid like structures were coming in the view gradually and here we were, with a soccer game going on us just next to what we were looking for, the stadium!

Walking along the boundary wall of the stadium took us to the main gate via an interesting route with wire mesh and bulky rocks hindering us slow. But, the efforts weren't made in vain!

When the stadium came in its full view ahead of us, what must be inside then!, we all thought. The structure from outside looked magnanimous, built in complete traditional style with another modern structure next to it, but quite obviously, the focus was this!

Living in Delhi had surely taught me one thing about security, that ever damned thing on Earth built in the capital city needed to be secured badly. So, when I stood facing this enormous structure in front of me, one thing I was sure of, we won't be allowed inside. And, for the first time in my life, I was relieved to be proven wrong! 

Though, I have always abhorred the game, but looking at the cricket stadium of such grandeur surely took off all that was disliked. The view inside the stadium was amazing, with mountains peeping into the vast green ground from all the sides. I felt like jumping in and playing, feeling amazed by my own reaction!

The stadium in Heaven!
I have been to stadiums before and to some famous ones, for that matter like the Edens, Kotla or Chinnaswamy, but nothing matches with what the Dharamshala cricket stadium held inside. Once you're in it, it's hard to not admire the beauty of the place. 

Time changes everything, and now that the passage of time had turned the evening to an almost night, it was time to move ahead, leaving behind the astonishing beauty of the stadium. 

Espresso Bar is a place known for two things; the swimming pool and the coffee! The weather that was unusually cold for the visitors from a hot place like Delhi, plus the time 8 pm was not an ideal time to jump in the pool and have fun, that too for people who knew too less about swimming.

The water being not too deep, and the once in a lifetime opportunity of jumping in a pool in Dharamshala at night, pushed our already made up minds to think not, and jump ahead!

I have always needed an incentive to push me towards learning how to swim, and I had successfully kicked off the many that I got. This was one more time when I realized high time, I should know how to swim! Nonetheless, the fact that none of us knew swimming and Salman being the hero for knowing the little bit of swimming, helped me not being embarrassed. 

You should have a taste of everything, and jumping in a pool with chilling water is yummier than I had imagined. The trip was turning more adventurous than I had thought, and I was definitely loving every bit of it. 
Post the chilling dip in the pool, a hot cup of coffee is all you need!


Certainly, I had not known what was coming the next day!
 ___

The next day had started earlier than I had thought, but still we couldn't make it before 12 in checking out from the horrible hotel we stayed in. Horrible!, it comes with the adventure, again I thought. 

McLeod Ganj is one place I had always wanted to visit, because of all that I had heard about it. And smiles, here we were, standing on the concrete slab on top of the under construction bus shelter of McLeod Ganj. 

There's always a better!
The place was not what I had imagined, only a bit better!
  
Bhagsunag is sparely a kilometer away from McLeod Ganj, and undoubtedly had cheaper hotels. Perfect choice for us! After doing the regular hotel hunting, we chose the first hotel that we had visited. What a waste of time, I had smiled.

Post the unusually little time that we all took in refreshing (we had already taken hours in dressing up back in Dharamshala), we set out to check out only the better.

Bhagsu is a place that is a home to just hotels of every kind, not surprisingly frequented the most by the tourists from all the corners of the world. Bhagsu Falls, making the top of the places to be visited, is amazing and just the view of its access route makes it even more exciting.

The road to the top towards the waterfall is a long one, going uphill with a very gentle slope. Mere a distant view of the falls from the foot of the turning road amuses the visitors. Dharamshala is long forgotten. Yes, the beauty of being in the lap of nature makes you forget everything else, even the amazing of the amaziest stadiums of Dharamshala. 

The sheer excitement of touching the mountains and the hope of the best still unseen, helps you never go tired up on the road. And no doubt, the efforts are totally paid off once you reach the top!

Waterfalls have always amazed me, the idea of being this close to one is entirely an experience altogether. Bhagsu Falls are one of the best waterfalls I've ever come across in my life (Yes, I have seen many back in my village!). Getting too close to the falling chilled water that sends cool breeze all the time is an experience that can't be matched to any other. 

After touching the chilling waters of the pool back in Espresso Bar in Dharamshala, I had thought nothing could've been more chillier. But, yet again, I was proven wrong. The water beneath the strong falls was almost freezing, zero degrees if not negative! ;)

Click, click, click! After taking a million shots under the waterfalls, it was time to finally have some real fun! Jumping in the water so cold must be completely an insane idea to many, but life won't give you a next! 

The route to the spot where we had decided to jump in the water and do some bathing in the chilling waters, was equally adventurous, with us getting bitten by what the local called bichhu booti! The weird looking plant bites you real bad, and leaves the skin with a burning sensation for almost few hours. 

The cold water bath was adventure enough, and yet there was more to come. The rain Gods had decided to shower us with some more adventure, as the clouds started showering us with their blessings! Adventure, it is, I rejoiced.

Let's define Heaven!
Everything about this trip had been real fun, a unique experience in its own. And now that we were sitting in a pure desi German Bakery cafe, having our dinners chosen from a variety of cuisines that the place offered, looking at the clouds that were enveloping the mountains, giving us the most amazing view; Heaven lies on Earth! 


The Bhagsu Falls experience had been amazing, and had set the mood for the trip. And, the night was going to be more eventful! 

High is not just a word!
Marijuana in my soul
Marijuana in my heart

Experience the new!

Looking back at each and every moment of this trip, filled me with joy, as now we prepared for the return to our dens.

The bus journey to Pathankot had ended in a lesser time than was expected and luckily, the excitement had not died up. A good sign!

The decision of going back home in a train was unanimous, and undoubtedly the best way to put an end to this wonderful trip. And, before the delayed train and the waiting hours at the railway station could drift our minds towards the bad, the train had arrived, delayed by just an hour and thirty minutes.

The journey back home had put up a lot many question marks, because sadly, we all had our berths in different compartments separated by many coaches in between. But, it now mattered less, for, the journey was going to be in peace and calm, as the sleep was making our eyes heavier now. And so we slept away the night, in peace and comfort.

The next day had begun in a new State altogether, for me, as now we had reached where we belonged. Perfectly, the last night had been full of dreams too serene and a glimpse of what was probably the best experience of my life!

I smiled, when do I not!, as we stepped down on the platform of the very own New Delhi railway station, waiting eagerly to get hold of my computer so as to be able to lock down this experience in words, that would last forever!

And, to remind me of these times, spontaneity is the key!

A fresh morning awaits... let the night pass!